Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
