in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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