There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
