I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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