your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
