who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think my fart just growled at me.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
