me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
