Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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