I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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