She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize