this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
