and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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