smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
