I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
