I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
