can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
