Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
