I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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