haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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