at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
