I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
