I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
