i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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