Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize