im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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