areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
