The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
