I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
