She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
