Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize