I skipped work to stalk him.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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