i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
my poor anus
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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