I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize