She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Two words: blizzard sex
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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