tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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