He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
