I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
