booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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