This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize