I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
