Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
