I hate your face
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
