Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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