I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
