So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
