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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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