I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
