it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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