we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
is that a dick in a sweater?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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