Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
