I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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