I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
