woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
