Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
