he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
