Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize