i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
