38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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