you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Vodka?
Forever.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
