that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
