Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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