Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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