Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
