remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
