Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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