Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
