Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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