he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
