Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
