I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
