At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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