new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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