she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
