Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
