So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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