I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
